Posted in designer toys, naughty rabbits, story

Vote for me! (Short Story: 1021 words)(all)

2017-06-08 17.11.24

Peter entered the burrow looking quite pleased with himself.

“I’ve decided that we should have an election!” he said. “I’ve got a rosette and everything! Vote for me!!”

Jessica looked at Peter.

“Firstly, that’s my rosette” she said. “secondly, what are we voting for?”

“What?” asked Peter. “You’re voting for me!  Vote for me!”

“No, you misunderstand” she replied “If we vote for you, what do we get?”

“More carrots!” said Peter happily.

2017-06-08 17.12.42

At this point, Colin entered the small room.  He listened for a little while, then spoke.

“Peter, it is good that you are taking an interest in these things, but there are a couple of problems with your approach.  First, you are the only person people can vote for – we need a choice.  Secondly, you can’t say that if we vote for you we’ll get something we will already have.”

“Unless”.. Peter added, “there was a plan to stop you from getting that.”

“Is there?” asked Jessica worriedly. “Are they going to ration carrots?”

“No” said Colin. “There is no plan. Peter is being silly.”

“Well that’s alright” said Jessica. “I like carrots.”

“So do I” said Peter. “That’s why if you vote for me I’ll make sure that there are more carrots!”

“That will do with the talk about carrots” said Colin. “It’s making me hungry.  I know, let’s have an election; Jessica, would you agree to be the other voting choice against Peter?”

2017-06-08 17.13.01

“Oh, I don’t know” said Jessica, “I’m not sure what I can offer.”

Colin thought for a moment, then said

“If you could, what would you like to see more of?”

“Well, I always find that I don’t have enough brightly coloured crayons for my pictures.  So I guess I could stand for that.”

“Excellent” encouraged Colin. “Now Peter, forgetting carrots for the moment, what would you like to see more of?”

Peter thought hard.  You could see he was thinking hard as he screwed up his face as you do when you think hard.  Then he said

“Paper.  I never have enough paper.  I always make mistakes when I’m drawing and have to start again.”

“Well that’s excellent” said Colin.  “Jessica, you are campaigning for people to vote for more coloured crayons and Peter you are campaigning for people to vote for more paper to draw on.  You go and get support for your campaigns and I’ll organise the voting part.  Oh and Peter; no talk about more carrots.”

Jessica and Peter ran off in different directions to start their campaigning.  Peter drew several posters saying “Vote for me”.  He only wanted to draw one, but he kept spelling things wrong and having to start again.  Colin also pointed out after the tenth attempt that he ought to also put his name on the poster so that people would know to vote for him and not Jessica… and that took another six tries.  Jessica only drew one poster, and in truth didn’t really finish it because… well, there weren’t enough colours.  Colin, spoke to Eldritch the elder bunny to be the official and make sure that the voting was conducted properly.

On the morning of the election, Colin explained to all the bunnies that they could only vote for either Jessica or Peter.  He gave Jessica and Peter a few moments to talk about why people should vote for them (with the warning that Peter was not to talk about carrots) and then declared the voting open.

As he walked away, Colin saw Millicent in the corner.

2017-06-08 17.13.22

“Hello Millicent” said Colin, “Are you going to vote?”

“I don’t know” said Millicent. “To be honest, I don’t really know which one to vote for.  I should vote for my friend Jessica, but I do make mistakes when I’m drawing, so I should vote for Peter.  It’s all very hard really.”

“Well” replied Colin. “It’s your vote and you should choose to vote for the person you think will help you most.  You don’t need to tell anyone who you voted for and  I don’t think you’re the only one that isn’t sure.”

Later that day, Colin said that the opportunity to vote had finished, and he and Eldritch counted the voting papers.  Once that was done, everyone gathered in the hall.  Eldritch stood up to address the warren.

2017-06-08 17.14.09

“This has been a very interesting affair” he said.  “I’m pleased to say that of the fourty five rabbits in the warren we received sixty two votes, so well done everyone.  There were only two voting papers that were marked spoiled; one had a carrot drawn on it…”

“That was me!” exclaimed Peter.  Everyone laughed.  Eldritch looked down at Peter and continued.

“….. and one had a half completed butterfly drawn across it.”

Eldritch then looked at Jessica, who looked back and smiled.

“So what was the final result?” asked Colin.

“So I counted 39 votes for Jessica…” started Eldritch.  Jessica smiled.

“… and 45 votes for Peter.  Peter wins!”

Colin looked carefully at Eldritch.  “Hang on” Colin said cautiously. “There are forty five rabbits in the warren and yet you got sixty two votes! Then, of the sixty votes, you counted 86 votes!”

Eldritch twitched his moustache.

“I guess I should have told you that my numbers aren’t very good” he said.  Colin smiled supportively.

“No, that’s fine Eldritch.  You helped me out and I’m thankful.  And as the official for this, you have the final vote… so Peter wins.”

Everybody clapped and cheered.

“Thank you everyone!” said Peter happily. “I would like to thank Jessica for running against me – and I too would like more crayons so I will look to make that happen.  In the meantime, carrots for everyone!”

everybody cheered again.

After, Colin approached Peter and asked, “so, where are you going to get the extra paper from?”

Peter pointed at the pile of paper in the corner of the room. “Over there” he said.

Colin looked quizzically at Peter. “But’s that’s where we get all the paper from now!” he exclaimed.  “Oh dear, you are going to be a good politician!”

 

 

Colin, Jessica and Millicent: Naughty Rabbits by fluffyhouse.com

Eldritch and Peter: Labbits by Kidrobot.

 

 

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Posted in art, designer toys, Uncategorized

Adventures in Normal (all)

2017-03-12 08.10.08
“I wonder if I should dye my hair”
2017-03-12 08.10.40
“Bet I’ll have to go to the loo if I drink all that”
2017-03-12 08.12.26
“Oh, I should have turned left!”*

So there’s a story behind this.  I planned to go out and do about 9Km / 6 miles, but instead went straight on when I should have turned left at Victoria Station… and as there was no path by the Battersea Power Station I ended up adding another mile and a half onto the run.  On the plus side, I now know a 10Km route…

2017-03-13 08.03.08
Convent Entrance
2017-03-19 09.07.08
CCTV
2017-03-19 09.08.39
“You are in my powers”
2017-03-19 09.09.35
“I see you… Gotcha!”
Posted in designer toys, Humour, naughty rabbits, story

The Vase (a short story: 983 words)(all)

2016-08-09 21.42.35

“You had better watch out” said Jessica. “Something or someone will get hurt.”

But Roger and Tom weren’t listening.  They were playing with the ball in the hall of the burrow, kicking it to and fro – and every so often sideways.  On more than one occasion the ball would head off and bounce off Jessica’s head.  Luckily she wasn’t drawing otherwise she would have been really angry with the two of them.

2016-08-09 21.46.27

“It’s OK” said Roger, “the ball is soft and bouncy… see!” and with that he gave it a really hard kick towards Tom.  Only instead of heading towards Tom it went off with a curve and bounced off the vase that was sitting on the shelf.

“Uh oh” said Roger.

“Uh oh” said Tom.

Roger and Tom stood there, watching the vase rock back and forth.  The sudden quiet was too much for Jessica and she turned round to see what wasn’t happening – and saw the vase.

“Oh No!!” she cried out.

The vase wobbled just a little more then fell off the shelf and landed on the floor.

CRASH!!!!

2016-08-09 21.53.41

Before the last of the shards of the vase had settled Tom said “Bye!” and scampered off as fast as he could. Jessica and Roger look at the pot – and then at each other.

“What are we going to do?” asked Roger.

“We?” replied Jessica, “You broke it!”

“I know” said Roger, “But I don’t know what to do next.”

Jessica thought for a moment then said to Roger “go and get some glue.”

“Yes that will fix it – I’ll glue the bits back together!”

He scampered away as fast as he could.  Whilst he got the glue, Jessica carefully gathered up all the parts of the pot. Roger returned and as best as he could muster he stuck the pot back together again.  They put it on the shelf.

“Good as new” said Roger.

2016-08-09 21.48.42

Jessica didn’t know what to say. There were bits of the pot in places that they never used to be, both on the pot and on Roger – and bits of his fur were all over everything.  It didn’t help that he’d managed to stick the glue cap on the vase and leave a puddle of glue on the floor either.

Whilst they stood there, Colin entered the room.  He saw the two of them looking at the shelf and without looking at the vase said,

“You know that vase belongs to the Elder Rabbit.  He’s had it for years – it was his fathers and his father’s before him.  It’s irreplaceable you know…”

Colin then realised that the two rabbits weren’t just looking at the vase – they were staring at it, their eyes big and slowly Colin’s eyes scanned to what it was they were… oh no!

“What have you done?” Colin exclaimed.

Jessica couldn’t help herself.  She tried to say quiet, but it wasn’t in her nature.

“RogerandTomwhereplayingwiththeballandithitthevasewetriedtofixitbutweweren’tverygoodwereweit’srubbishIknowwe’resosorry” she blurted before following it with tears that would almost flood the hallway.

“Don’t cry” said Colin, looking at the vase, “We can fix it. But it’s certainly an interesting variation” he added.

Colin carefully picked up the vase and told the two rabbits that he would fix it – but they would need to clear away all the mess that was all around the floor.  He looked at Roger, with bits of pot sticking to his fur and realised that he would need cleaning down too. Jessica, pleased that Colin was coming to their help, offered to clear up the mess.

“After all” she said “Roger would probably end up wearing more of it.”

Roger smiled a little.  He owed Jessica for this help – and so did Tom.

Colin cleaned Roger down – if only to make sure that he had all the parts of the vase.  He then carefully unglued all the shards and cleaned them down whilst Roger watched carefully.  Then he carefully glued them all back in the right place.  Finally, the vase was ready.

Roger and Jessica watched as Colin carefully put the vase back on the shelf.  They didn’t hear the Elder Rabbit enter the room.

2016-08-09 21.47.51

“Are you cleaning the vase again, Colin?” asked the Elder Rabbit.  “I remember you telling me the vase needed a clean when you knocked it off the shelf when you were a small bunny.”

Jessica and Roger looked at Colin.

“I never said it hadn’t happened before.” He said.

“Mind you” added the Elder Rabbit, “At least you didn’t have to buy a new one like I did when I broke it.  I tried to glue it back together, but I couldn’t get all the bits to fit in the right order.”

He peered closely at the vase.

“That’s a very neat repair” he added, “Remembering how well Colin repaired it last time, I reckon this was done by you Jessica – well done.”

Jessica looked at Colin – who just winked.

“Thank you” said Jessica.

The Elder Rabbit walked off. Once out  of site, Colin added

“Actually, this is the seventh vase that I know of. You should have just told me when it got broken – we’ve got a stack of replacement vases out back.”

“So why did we have to repair it?” asked Roger.

“Because” smiled Colin, “How else would you remember not to play with the ball in the hallway?  Besides, what would you have done if there were no extra vases?”

Roger looked down.  “I’m sorry” he said.

“Roger, you need to thank Jessica for helping you.  While you do that, I’m going to find Tom – I’ve got a huge stack of plates that will need scrubbing clean for him to do.  He really should not have run off.”

Once Colin had left the room, Roger looked at Jessica. Before he could say anything she said,

“I know you’re sorry, but I’ll think of something I’ll need you to do.  But it won’t be gluing anything.”