As you head out of town on the main road, just before you get to the sign that says “Farewell, safe travels!” there is a little wooden sign. Most people would miss it as they’re not looking for it as it is quite close to the ground, and the paint has started to peel. But should you actually see the sign you would read the words
“TOP SECRET SUPER SECRET HIDEOUT AND LABORATORY – NEXT LEFT”
Should you then decide to take the next turning on the left, you will see another sign which says
“NO VISITORS” and under that another sign that usually says “THREE PINTS OF MILK PLEASE”, especially in the morning. But if you should decide to go past those signs (and the one that says “BEWARE OF THE BUTTERFLY”) you will arrive at the top secret super secret hideout and Laboratory of Doctor FrankieWiener. His real name was Trevor Bladger but after his science experiment to produce the world’s biggest sausage his name was changed forever. But it was his pursuit to make the biggest, largest and most incredible sized vegetables that meant he was no longer able to take part in the town’s annual autumn fayre as many of the other residents complained that he hadn’t really put the same effort into making the biggest melon compared to Mrs Beetroot (who interestingly had never thought to grow any beetroots in her garden) and he was run out of town.
Actually, he hadn’t really run out of town – he’d taken part in the town’s fun run, taken a wrong turn and ended up at a small house down the track that we’d talked about and decided to stay there.
Trevor was walking round the house looking for Fluffykins his pet cat. He’d adopted Fluffykins a while back and it had brought him a lot of company. He tried whistling, and calling out and even rattling his favourite biscuits… but nothing. Then he saw the cat flap. Or rather, there he saw where there used to be a cat flap… or rather, where there used to be a door that used to have a cat flap in it. What was there was a large amount of wood, just about hanging onto the hinges with a huge cat shaped hole where a cat flap may possibly have once been.
“uh oh” said Trevor. He immediately rushed down to the basement, where he discovered one of the flasks now laying on the floor. Fortunately it hadn’t broken, but it was clear that something had drunk its contents. Being quite clever, Trevor realised who had just drunk its contents. And then left the house.
Trevor rushed to the phone to call Betty – but just before his finger pressed the button he realised it was going to sound weird and possibly get him arrested for experimenting on cats. He put the phone down and thought for a while.
“I know” he thought “I’ll make another pet!”
Back in the Station House, Gail was plugging her guitar into the speaker. Constable Lodge looked over at her.
“I’ve got to play something for the annual Christmas show” she explained. “I thought I’d try learning the tune to the Talking Heads song.”
“What, ‘Burning down the house’?” asked Constable Lodge.
“No”, replied Gail “that other one they did.”
She picked up her guitar and started to play the first few chords then stopped.
“You’re right” she said to the Constable. “It IS Burning down the house!”
“Thought so” smiled Constable Lodge.
So today we get an amplifier and a microphone. Already I’m starting to wonder what the plan is going to be for these items and I can see the pictures on the box! Personally, I think I would have put the guitar in here so it was a complete set, rather than with the Gail the Firelady/person/man. Still, I have got two microphones now, which could be useful later on…