“So the Martian walks up to the petrol pump and says take your finger out of your ear when I’m talking to you!”
Bob, Kevin, Stuart and Trevor had found their way into the cracker factory and were sharing what they’d found – and remembered – as they stood around the water dispenser.
“How do we know what Santa’s had for dinner? He posts it on Santagram!”
“Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh!”
“Why don’t elephants like penguins? They can’t get the wrappers off!”
“But elephants do like penguins. It’s the polar bears they don’t like.”
“It’s a joke, Bob.”
“Seems a bit mean on the elephants. They are quite sensitive about their feet you know.”
“Bob, it’s a joke.”
“Next you’ll be saying that their ears are big.”
“Well they are.”
“Really only the African Elephant. His ears are three times the size of Indian Elephants.”
“Do they have Penguins in Africa or India?”
“What – actual penguins or the confectionary?”
“Either – after all – surely the joke SHOULD be Why don’t elephants like Penguins – because all the chocolate melts onto the wrapper making a horrible mess.”
“But how will they know? They can’t get the wrappers off!”
“Is break over yet?”
The minions finished their water.
“Did you know that Santa and Shawn have got a watchdog for the factory to stop more Gremlins getting in?”
“Do we have to wind it up?”
“No – I think it turns round three times before it settles.”
“I wonder if the watchdog likes Penguins?”
They walked back to their factory places ready to start again. What they hadn’t noticed was Darren. Darren was a quiet minion, quite young and quite impressionable. He also had absolutely no sense of direction – and quickly found himself nose to nose with a very hairy, growly watchdog.
“Hello” said Darren.
“Grrrrr” said the dog.
“I’m Darren” replied Darren.
“Grrrrr” said the dog.
“Hello Grrrr – could you tell me where the factory is – I’m a little lost. Actually, I’m a little hungry too.”
Grr smiled. “Hungry, you say? well, if you go down that path I know that there’s a bacon tree.”
“A bacon tree?” questioned Darren.
“Oh yes”, replied Grr. “A bacon tree.”
Darren set off. Even if he was late, at least he would have eaten. About twenty minutes later, Darren dragged his body hand over hand back to Grr.
“You fool, Grr!” wheezed Darren “That was no bacon tree… that was a ham bush!”
Grr smiled at Darren. “Oh well,” he replied. “By the way, I have a bone to pick with you… do you want the left one, or the right one?”
“Could I have a Penguin?” asked Darren.
“No – take your pick.”
“I don’t have a pick – I do have a shovel though.”
So the cracker jokes came from actual crackers and the daily newspaper The Metro. The Bacon tree joke is just a very old favourite 🙂
Todays advent treats
From Lego, we get Grr the dog, a bowl and two bones. I do like the colour pattern of the dog which I think has only been seen recently in the City Arctic theme.
From the Minions, we have the watercooler and sippy cup.