Oh, hello there! You find me struggling to get onto the catapult to play – I’m getting much older now and it’s a lot more difficult to get my leg over! Umm… Okay Catherine, fire at will… what do you mean, ‘which one’s Will?’ Well, next to his brother, Ray – after all, where’s there’s a Will, there’s a Ray!
Let’s get back to the story, then… So after Jack and Stan finally get to Endenburgh Station, they made their way to the Cave of Utter Frustration. The entrance looked impressive enough, but Stan noted the brass sign screwed to the side. “$90 entrance” it said, and underneath someone had written “Closed for Painting”.
“Well, that’s frustrating” said Stan. “We’ve come all this way.”
“That sign’s always been there” said Jack “It’s always been closed for painting and no-one has EVER asked me for the entrance fee. Let’s go in.”
They took three steps into the cave and stopped.
“That’s the back wall” said Stan. “It’s been painted to look like it’s bigger and deeper than it actually is! It’s not a very big cave, is it?”
“I guess not” replied Jack. “It seemed bigger when I was younger.”
“Hang on a minute” said Stan. “This is just a backdrop. I can see a small tear in the corner – we could sneak through.”
“Good idea” exclaimed Jack. “We might find the crystal that the Fairy Godmother wants us to get!”
They carefully tore the back drop a little more until they could just squeeze through.
“It’s very dark in here” said Stan. “I didn’t bring a torch.”
“It’s Okay” said Jack. “I thought about that. If I empty the rocks from my pockets, I can make myself a little lighter.”
They used the faint light to try and see further into the cave, but it didn’t really help – but it did make the crystal sparkle a little.
“I can just get that crystal” said Jack. “And then we’re done.”
He reached out and grabbed the sparkling rock.
“It all seems too easy” said Stan.
“Yes, especially if this is the cave of Utter Frustration.”
“Hmm, perhaps it will be the wrong colour. Anyway, let’s get going.”
They walked back to the entrance and as they started to go through it Stan immediately noticed something and made Jack head back behind the screen.
“Look – it’s a warden!” he said. “And we don’t have a ticket!”
“Oh no” said Jack, “How are we going to get out?”
“Hang on” said Stan, “I’ve got an idea. What happens if we just move this curtain that’s pretending to be the cave wall – we can sneak round behind the curtain!”
“Good Idea!” replied Jack.
Within minutes, they were standing at the front of the cave entrance again.
PC Dibble was out on patrol. He was the Emergency Responder, which in this town typically meant running down to the local shop when they ran out of Bourbon Biscuits. But the fair was coming to town and Dibble’s Sergeant told him to get down to the square in case there was trouble. Oh and just in case, he ought to take the “Nee-Narr” sirens as well.
So, PC Dibble was standing outside the shop, ready for the all-important “Biscuit Emergency” when the radio crackled into life.
“PC Dibble! We have an Emergency!”
“Right Sarge, I’ll get the biscuits back quickly!”
“NO – this is a proper emergency! You need to get over to Shoe Cottage – Old Mother Hubbard’s House has been covered in Toilet Paper!”
“And she’s run out?” asked PC Dibble, not quite sure what he had to do as it didn’t involve buying biscuits.
“No… this sounds serious; or at least it sounded serious when Mrs Balswick told Marge Hampton over the fence this morning. She in turn told Mr Hampton who passed on the message to Postman Fred who then passed the message onto to my wife. She’s just phoned me.”
“I’ll go right away!” said PC Dibble.
“Oh, and Dibble” said the Sergeant.
“Get some biscuits on the way back – we’re getting low.”
Dibble raised the first of the bullhorns. “NEEE!!” he shouted into it. He then raised the other Bullhorn “NARR!!!” he shouted into it. He then started to run down the road, shouting “NEEEE!!” into one and “NARR!!!” into the other. Once he got to the edge of the village he stopped to catch his breath. Why couldn’t they let him use the skateboard for these sort of things as well?
Eventually he arrived at Old Mother Hubbard’s House. Old Mother Hubbard and the Fairy Godmother were shouting at each other and both were waving their tea mugs around.
“I did not take your Baked Alaska out of the fridge!”
“Oh yes you did”
“Oh no I didn’t”
“Oh yes you did!”
At that point and before the Fairy Godmother could do anything about it, Old Mother Hubbard swung her mug at the Fairy Godmother!
T’PAU!!! It went! Now, I know what you’re thinking – it should have gone KAPOW, but of course, she had china in her hand! (Yes, I really should get a more up to date joke book!)
PC Dibble arrived and asked what was going on.
“She hit me because she thinks I took her Baked Alaska out of the fridge”
“I Did Not!”
“Yes, you did!”
“No, I… oh, wait… oh, I might have done… Oh… sorry…?”
“Right”, said PC Dibble. “I think I need to do something. Would you mind moving that piece of broken cup a little… thank you… and could you move that… yes, just a little bit… marvellous. Ladies, I’m arresting you for disturbing the pieces.”
“Don’t you know who I am?” asked the Fairy Godmother.
“Yes, I do” said PC Dibble. “Sorry, mum.”
Today’s Advent Present
It’s PC Dibble! Complete with two bullhorns and a music sheet! I wasn’t quite sure how I could incorporate the music sheet into the story – and I would be interested to know what it actually sounds like – is it a Christmas Carol song? It’s a nice figure – I think the last time we saw that hat was the Collectible Minifigure – I don’t think it’s a standard police hat from the City theme sets.