Here we are again! You catch me taking the shell off my racing snail as I want to make it faster; although actually it’s just making it more sluggish….
I can’t say much today – I was putting up the Christmas decorations yesterday and my throat’s all sore today. I think I may have tinsellitus…
Lord Trencham knocked on the door. Aunt Boris answered.
“Aunt Boris” said Lord Trencham “Now we’re alone, I want to tell you something…”
But before he could say anything, Aunt Boris started to get really angry, shouting and waving and threatening Lord Trencham with all manner of things. Eventually, his patience snapped and he drew out a bottle of blue liquid and emptied the contents over Aunt Boris.
“I can’t move!” cried Aunt Boris.
“I know” said Lord Trencham “It’s Aunty Freeze!”
Over the other side of the village, Jack and Stan were walking along the path when they saw an old lady with a cart. The Wheel had fallen off and the contents were strewn across the path.
“Would you like some help?” asked Jack.
“Yes – we’ll be ‘wheelie’ quick!” added Stan.
“Thank you dearie” said the old lady.
Within moments, the wheel was back in place and the old lady thanked them.
“Thank you children; I’ve read everything so far and I don’t think you’ve had anything to eat. Here, have some lunch.”
Jack and Stan thanked the old lady and sat down and ate whilst the old lady walked on.
“What a nice old lady” said Stan.
“Quite” said Jack.
Soon they had eaten, and walked on until they came upon an old house.
“Do you think it’s the fairy god mother’s house?” asked Stan
“Looks creepy, so it probably is” replied Jack.
They walked up to the door. There was no doorbell, just a large knocker. Jack raised it and rapped on the door.
“Who’s there?” came a voice.
“Smell mop!” yelled Stan. Jack stared hard at Stan.
“Sorry, force of habit. Tank!”
“Tank who?” replied the voice.
“No, no, thank you” said Stan. “Hee hee hee!”
“Go away!” shouted the voice. “I’ve no time for games – be off with you!”
“I’m very sorry for my ‘friend’” said Jack, “But I’m looking for the Fairy Godmother. Is that you?”
The door opened a little and an angry round face peered out.
“Oh look, it’s a vicious circle!” said Stan.
“Does your… err… dog bite?” asked Jack.
“Nope!” came the voice “He’s quite friendly.”
Jack went to stroke it – but immediately jumped back as the things became even more angry – barking, snapping, dribbling and drooling!
“I thought you said it didn’t bite?” shouted Jack over the snarling animal.
“It does… oh, sorry, yes – that does bite be careful; I was thinking of my pet alligator.”
“Umm… did you just say ‘pet alligator’?”
“Yes, yes, now come on in. Fang – down. Oh look, he’s pleased to see you!”
“Yes” said Jack “Probably thinks I’m dinner.”
“Now dearie, how can I help?” said the old lady.
“Hey – you’re the old lady we met earlier!” said Stan.
“Yes, but now I’m the fairy godmother – see, I have a wand.”
Jack explained what had happened and the Fairy Godmother listened.
“Hmm” said the Fairy Godmother “You need a task that will take at least ten chapters to complete, possibly involving some form of peril.”
“Yes, that sounds about right” said Jack. “But possibly not so difficult that we can’t include complete plot rewrites.”
The Fairy Godmother thought about it, then stood up and slapped her thigh. “Aha!” she said.
She then leaned forward and whispered the task into Jack’s ear.
“I won’t do that!” cried Jack. “And I’m pretty certain that it’s frowned upon, too!”
“Oh, OK” said the Fairy Godmother. “How about… psst psst psst.”
“It might help if you whispered it in my ear, rather than just going ‘psst psst psst’ over there.”
The Fairy Godmother leaned forward and whispered again in Jack’s ear.
“That sounds dangerous!” cried Jack.
“Well, I have six other options. You can either do that, or roll this dice and do one of the other six.”
“You mean, it’s do or die” replied Jack.
“Exactly.” Said the Fairy Godmother.
Today’s Advent present:
It was the cart, with the stick of bread in it. I totally forgot to take a picture of the finished object, so I’ll try to include it in tomorrow’s story pictures!